Pale Purple

For the last couple of weeks, getting dressed in the morning has been a….challenge.  One that I'm sure my neighbors wonder what I'm doing in our apartment to make Iolani scream like that.  Getting Iolani dressed in the morning is like trying to get…oh fuck…I don't know how to compare it anything.  I mean, she wiggles, tosses her hands, kicks her feet, screams, and my personal favorite: she bites.  

She doesn't usually bite.  I mean, except in those rare instances when she's >>REALLY<< angry.  You know, like if you actually take the ice cream away from her and tell her to get in the tub.  

But, there we were last week.  She's all red, I'm near tears, and it is 8:30, I'm late for work, she's late for school, and she is still in her pajamas.  Or worse - just naked.  

Last night I noticed that she could unbutton her shirt by herself.  Something in my head clicked: Hey, maybe she's pissy about getting dressed in the morning because I am dressing her.  Maybe, just maybe she wants to do it by herself?

So, this morning when I'm saying - time to get dressed, come here…I instead opt to ask her for her pajamas so that I could put them in the wash.  BAM…the motherfucking pajamas are on the fucking floor.  Yes…pure joyous excitement on my part.  

Phase two: "Get the clothes on".  I hand her the pants and offer balancing assistance.  Pants on. Shirt on.  In my head I'm thinking: "Holy shit…this whole time I've been a total bitch to her…my girl wants to do this shit by herself, and I'm here hovering.  Well, damn." 

The socks soon followed, and then shoes.  Then we walked out the door with my purse, workbag, and her backpack.  We did well.  Not a red mark, no mommy tears.  Just the extreme guilt that I was holding my daughter back from the independence that Ani Difranco has belted out for years.  

No guilt or anything….I mean I guess I am the Oppressive Mommy.  :-)

In any case, all was not lost…I did forget her cup at home.  The look of absolute disappointment in the elevator, in front of all her friends nonetheless was reminder enough: Don't bitch at the child unless you have packed up all her stuff for school first.

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