Kick in the pants - front or back?

A couple of months ago I was sitting in my living room - known to you as Union Station. I was just having one of those days, where I needed a moment to take it all in, get some perspective.  And then, suddenly...I found myself listening to a very old man talking on his cellphone.  He didn't sound angry, but he sounded like he was giving advice to someone not seeking it.  

He said: "You know, you need a swift kick in the pants...but I don't know what would help more, a kick in the front or a kick in the back."  He folded his big flip phone closed (I told you he was very old), tucked the phone into his jacket, got up and walked away....with a cane.

I would never ever kick anyone in the pants, but when I get frustrated...I take a moment to think if a kick to the front or back would be helpful in this particular situation.  Most days, a figurative kick in the butt is all that is needed to make a decision.  Then, we do have the rare days - when the extra painful kick in the front is there to remind us that 1) we are human, 2) decisions can be painful, 3) avoid a kick to the front at any cost.

But again - do not every kick anyone. Ever.

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