Our Holiday Season

If you follow me on Twitter or Facebook, you know that we got and lost Ferb (the cat) in a very short amount of time.  We were not expecting to have to explain "death" to our child quite so soon.  It's like that last bit of innocence before she becomes a real human being, who has learned how to love someone and then to lose them...and to have it happen during the holiday season.  Oh, man.  Take a deep breath, do a gut check, and just be thankful that the month is nearly over.

For as quick as this year went, this holiday season dragged on.  Not in a bad way, but it seemed like the holiday season started as soon as the Halloween candy went stale.  No wait...the Halloween candy is still here and isn't stale yet.  I hope that our house sticks to the Nordstrom approach of not talking about Christmas until after Thanksgiving.  Thank God for Nordstrom.

In any case, Ferb...We are pretty sure that he had FIP.  He had all the symptoms, and thanks to friends...and a very supportive team at the Eagle Rock Emergency Pet Clinic, everyone was able to put Ferb's needs and feelings first. The EREPC staff was just so warm to Ferb, myself, and my need to text back and forth with my husband, my friend in AZ, and tweet my absolute anguish. 

Ferb was Iolani's cat. For the rare moments he felt well, he would sleep with Iolani.  When they would end up going "Number 2" at the same time, Iolani would howl about who made the larger stink.  I think we were all under the impression that Ferb just really liked being around us.  

Having to explain why the cat would not be coming home from the emergency room was daunting.  Answering the questions of why? Was it the Christmas Tree water? When will he come back? Then came the ultimate tearjerk "Who will be my best friend now?"

Oh my God.  If your eyes haven't welled up yet...then give me a call and you can hear my voice.  

It has been two days since Ferb's passing.  She asked again this morning for the exact location of Ferb.  My response has become steady and direct: Ferb got sick, the doctor couldn't fix him, we found out that he was sick even before he came to live with us, he's up in heaven.  

She asked if she could have a dog, noting "dogs don't get sick and die".  I quickly broke the news to her that dogs get sick and die too.  Then, she asked for a white cat.  (I'm thinking to myself...a white short-haired cat will be so hard to find!).  After I didn't respond to her, she said "And take him to the doctor to make sure he doesn't have Ferb Flu".

I replied: "Yes - I promise that if we get another cat, I will have it checked for Ferb Flu".  A $300+ test

We headed out to Pasadena for her to ride her bike.  Over at Central Park she had long stretches where she could be a good distance from me, and yet I could have full view of her.  She was just looking up at the sky, taking in the moment.  Going as fast as she could on her little bike.  Historically, she will ride for 10-15 minutes and call it a day.  We were gone for over 4 hours, with a quick stop for lunch.  She just wanted to ride her bike.  

1 comment:

shannon said...

i adore that picture. looks like Ferb was a very willing participant in accepting all of Iolani's affection. also really shows how much she loved him. breaks my heart. sometimes it's best to jump right back on that horse. i only waited 10 days after my beloved Frankie passed and i haven't regretted my decision a bit. food for thought.