There are mornings that I wonder if a camera has been secretly outfitted in our apartment.
I woke up this morning for my “me time” and planted myself in front of the television. My only goal was to finish the most recent episodes of “The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills”, say what you will about reality TV, but I can absolutely relate to these ladies… I mean if you take away the idea they live in Beverly Hills (which most of them don’t) and are rich (most of them aren’t) then there are things about each of the ladies that I can appreciate. Adrianne’s definitely my favorite – except for that hair glitter? Why? I don’t get it.
During the commercial, a little after 7, I go into Iolani’s room to find her cuddled up to Moe. Not wanting to disturb her too much (because I’m still in the middle of the show and it only takes about 20 minutes to get her out the door), I cover her up and tiptoe out.
However, by the time I’ve made it back to the couch, the little sneaky bugger has slipped up to the couch and is now asking for Pocoyo. Fucking Pocoyo…please…let me finish my show. “Mommy wants to finish her show and then we will watch Pocoyo” I say.
We finish my show, and I ask her what she wants for breakfast. “Nothing” she says. Maybe too much Housewives as my daughter is already thinking about skipping breakfast? Ah, have no fear…Iolani saw a little microwave dinner, she points out that she wants that… Spaghetti for breakfast it is.
Why am I being so accommodating this morning? Spaghetti for breakfast?
Alex and I needed Iolani in nice clothes for school. We needed her to ditch her Toy Story/Yo Gabba Gabba/Elmo stained shirts that she usually demands to wear – for a clean tunic. You know, preferably something her grandmother (Lola) has purchased for her.
As Pocoyo has mesmerized our child, I slip on the purple top, clean pants, socks, shoes…and I comb her hair, she’s touting the joys of Pocoyo. At this point, I don’t fucking care what’s up on the TV show – I’m just happy she isn’t shouting “I don’t want to wear this!!!!!”
And, with that – I get us out the door. We are nearly halfway to the elevator when Iolani announces she needs a cup for school. She doesn’t need a cup for school, she has 3 at school right now. However, not to be deterred, she stomps her feet and proclaims:
I NEED MY WOODY CUP FOR SCHOOL!!!!!
Holy shit, the girl needs a cup. We run back to the house, she looks for the damn Woody cup and figures out that it is indeed at school. She picks another cup, asks for “temonade” (ahhh, how cute)…which we have very little of. (Grocery night is needed)
Back to the car. She gets in, I buckle her into her seat. I get into my seat and remember the days I used to slip into my seat and turn on blaring Green Day. Today – I now keep the radio off in an effort to have my last bits of communication with Iolani before she heads into school.
The whole drive to work was about Moe the Bear hitting her. Rather than hit back, I’ve been trying to teach her to point her finger and say – I don’t like that.
I can’t wait for the day that I tell her no to something, and she waves her finger back at me and says – No, I don’t like that. Half of me is being sarcastic, but I’ll trade that for a fall-to-the-floor-wail-for-$1200 purse tantrum at Nordstroms. (and just to clarify…Iolani would be the one falling to the floor. I no longer throw a tantrum for $1200 purses, New Years Resolution you know)
We get into school, all settled in. No tears, no hugs. She leans in to kiss me with spaghetti half hanging out her mouth. Yes…. I did hesitate for the morning kiss. I’ve kissed worse things in the morning, so I doubled back to kiss my daughter goodbye. I asked the teacher what time pictures would be taken.
Her reply: Picture day is tomorrow.