Alex and I were on our "date night" and we got to talking about the need for nightgowns over pjs for Iolani. I was reading about how to make potty training easier, and the first thing I saw was - use nightgowns. I get it, at 7 a.m. it is easier just to sit, but with PJs....ah, I'm already avoiding the real topic. Funny huh.
The challenge is we both agree we do not want nightgowns with princesses on them. We don't really want princess anything in the house (until she asks for it). The idea of the Disney princess still freaks me out. Except for one of the Disney princesses, they all seem to represent this hyper-paternalistic message that I know at one point she will be overwhelmed with it - but until then...no princesses.
So imagine my surprise/disgust/disappointment when all the nightgowns I find both in the stores and online are pink, ruffly, and fully of princesses. She loves Toy Story, but all the night clothes are boys PJs. If she wants a Woody t-shirt, it will be in dark blue, brown, or green aka Boy Colors. Even further, looking around online - Yo Gabba Gabba has little boy underwear, but I can't find YGG girls underwear. So, Iolani runs around in boys underwear from time to time...Eff You - she likes Brobee. ;-)
We finished that conversation at dinner with no resolution - other than the continued commitment to find ways to avoid subjecting our daughter to the super-sexual marketing drive that will begin to assault her in no time.
Which brings me to the dream I had the other day. Maybe it was a nightmare...
My dream had me sitting in the living room, Alex doing the dishes (no, it wasn't like that...he does the dishes all the time).
A teenage Iolani comes swooping in the door and proclaims her love for a boy. And, all the sudden we are talking about the differences between love and lust and ...you know...the first time....
Thank God my alarm clock went off because I seriously woke up freaked the eff out. I mean whoa... it is one thing to wake up from a dream and be able to leave it behind - you know like the dreams about swooshing down snowy mountain sides and then you hit a tree? But, no - I have to wake up from a dream from Iolani asking Alex and I about sex, relationships, and all that? OMG...
Skipping back to dinner - I explain the dream, and my only take-away is this: Hey, if I knew I was going to be accountable to my DAUGHTER for my actions in my teens and twenties and early thirties - would I still have done what I've done? Of course, the answer is yes! Everything is a part of who I am today. And, the unfortunate part for Iolani is that well...she will ask if we've ever XYZ, and it's highly likely that between Alex and I - the answer will probably be "Yes, but.... and why do you ask?".
Or, she'll just read back through the archives and read it here. Or on Twitter. Or on Facebook.