5/23/2013

Path of last resistance

I was reading the web this morning, and got to the very last entry. That doesn't sound right,  but I did find the end of the internet, and it is really the lone "mommy" group that I'm a part of online.  Rather than visioning the scary scene from the last episode of 30 Rock, with Liz Lemon battling it out with high strung mom after high strung mom... vision just a coffee shop, where we pop in, share the tidbit, and then carry on with our day.  As it should be.

So, this morning....  Mom's beautiful and talented daughter has torn through Mom's purse.  Deep sigh.  Been there.  Miss Brideau has emptied work bags, portfolios, notebooks, EIRs, purses, wallets, business card cases, makeup bags, multipacks of tampons, and my favorite - the tool box.

The interest in my stuff has to be for any of the following reasons:

  • She sees me using it and wants to use it too
  • Full Moon
  • Commercial on TV, and she needed something to do 
  • Daddy said it was okay
  • Thinks that some of hers is in there
All of these are justifiable reasons for a 2 to 25 year old girl to enter into any of her mother's belongings, right?  Glad we can agree on this basic principle.

There's the time I was at lunch, when to pay - and found my business cards had replaced my debit card,  and my business card case was no where to be found. Or, the time I opened up my handy tampon bag, only to find one stick of chapstick.  That was enough for me to get crafty.

I made her a replica of one of my purses. I gave her a powder, glossy Burt's Bees chap stick, some old hotel room keys, old business cards, a wallet, a small bag with some coins (Iolani's 4, so she knows that coins are dirty and don't go in your mouth), and other age-appropriate trinkets.  (Although, she now carries around eye-shadow...we have simple and strict rules about it.. "Not at school and Not at Church"

The key to this: YOU MUST ASK HER TO USE HER STUFF EVERY ONCE IN A WHILE.  If I ask Iolani to use her chapstick, or borrow her powder...for some reason she's thinking "Oh this is mommy's, and she's letting me use it" or... "Mommy can't find her stuff again, but I have my stuff, so here"

Either way, since the replication...there's been a dramatic decrease in her use of my stuff.  When I find that she's in my work bag, I noticed that she's all about my paper pads, pens, and business cards.  So, I found a black bag, tucked a paper pad, pen, and old business cards...and we do the same thing.  I ask her occasionally if she has paper I can use to make a list, we write the shopping list, or things to do - together...and then magically...my bag's left alone.

Ultimately, she's trained me to pay attention to the fact that I'm a very fascinating person with very fascinating things.  She also has this desire to have her own things.  She can now be found carrying her purse, with just a couple of items that she will need for the day.  And, this battle for my bag has ceased.

4/07/2013

Iolani-isms

"I can find Daddy, using my super spy eyes"

"I want to watch the scary movie, I am really brave"

"I don't need a nap" (all said while she is rubbing both eyes)

"I am not blooping anymore, can I have jelly beans/chocolate/cookies/ice cream"

UPDATE:
"Don't tell Mommy about what I'm about to do"


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3/19/2013

A mother still cries tonight

I wasn't upset or sad this evening but I was looking through old Facebook pictures this evening. I noticed that about a year ago I put up a picture of Trayvon Martin a year ago tomorrow. Usually on the eve of "events of note" I would expect to see "A year ago...." stories.  Some how I missed it, here, here, here, here and here.  I guess I've been overwhelmed with all the other murders.

I watch the morning news, even I have become a bit numb to news about shootings, murders, and all around violence.  But, I'm still reminded that who ever has died overnight was someone's son, daughter, cousin, brother, sister, neighbor, dear friend, or even just an acquaintance. And for each person who's died - there is a mother who grieves.

3/18/2013

The Story Teller

Iolani has entered the "Story Teller" phase of life.  She'll ask for one of us to tell her a "scary story" and then she tells it back with further embellishment, making it even more scary than before. For the past two nights, I've been recounting the "This One Time At Summer Camp" story, about a kayak trip that ended with mice in the kayaks, because the girls were careless with their trail mix.

So, consider all the bits and pieces of the story that totally amazes her:

That Mommy:

1) Paddled a boat
2) Went camping in a tent
3) Slept in a tent
4) Woke up at night to strange sounds
5) Left the security of the tent to check on the strange sounds
6) Squealed when mice were located in the kayaks

I've got her drinking the Girl Scout Kool-Aid.  To hear her retell the story, she includes bits about seeing bigfoot, aliens, a pocket knife, and a lot more emphasis on eating trail mix.


3/13/2013

Burning Sage for Electronics?

It is obvious that I'm kind of a techy geek.  In high school, I spent my afternoons learning how to maintain a small network of computers, keep the network clear of games (Rory!!!), and otherwise just keep things moving along.  In college, I would spend my spare time getting to know MS Office, take apart my laptop, blah de blah blah blah.  You get it.

Cue to this month.  Somehow, I've broken my work laptop.  My iPhone and iPad have had to have hard resets.  My home computer wouldn't open the spreadsheets until I reinstalled Numbers.  Then - today...the projector and laptop wouldn't talk to each other.  

This is all stuff that is out of my control, I think.  I'm nice to the electronics in my life.  I'm still nicer to human beings and cats...but you know what I mean.

I'm starting to think I need one of these: http://www.amazon.com/Belkin-Anti-Static-Wrist-Adjustable-Grounding/dp/B00004Z5D1

3/09/2013

Why We Stay


Why We Stay

Before Iolani, we usually didn't get out of the house on a Saturday until 2 or 3 in the afternoon.  Usually it was because Alex wouldn't even stop snoring until 10-ish, and I'd sit out in the living room catching up on Netflix.  We didn't have a DVR until the arrival of @msiolani.

We didn't get out of the house today until 1ish today.  We took the subway to 7th/Flower, wandered up the street to check out some work on Flower work.  It looked so nice…so nice.  So nice.  I hope that when people wander back into the neighborhood on Monday morning, they are all happy with it too.  

It was also nice to find out the film crew that was driving around the neighborhood didn't see the Flower Street work as a bother.  Everyone seems to be getting along just fine.

We walked to Tossed, which is open on the weekends!  Woo-wee.  For how long have we pained for places to be opened during the weekends in the FinDis?  The food was great, the bathrooms were amazingly clean.  I even BEGGED my daughter to try to go to the bathroom before our next stop.  

If there's one bit of advice I can offer to neighborhood newbies…treasure the clean bathrooms and schedule your day around them.  Treasure the businesses that make their bathrooms available to customers, and >maintain< them as if they are for customers only.  

She rebuffed my request.  Even though she had finished more than half a bottle of apple juice.  Can you sense the dramatic foreshadowing?

We headed out to Wilshire towards Grand.  The Big Blue Bus was barfing out neon, Nike's, spandex, fanny-packs, and blondes.  Clearly, those kids got off at the wrong stop.  They wandered around for a good two blocks, with confused bickering.  I asked Alex if we could help them.  I asked in the tone that you would have as a kid…like the time you asked your parents for a new pet.  They were making their way to LA Historic Park, and maybe they thought if they headed to South Park???  Finally, we got them pointed to the subway and told them to get to Union Station.  

We continued our steps to Broadway, making our way to the new Ross.  Iolani's old enough now, she doesn't always want to hold our hand, but she knows not to get too far out front or behind.  She's comfortable on the sidewalk, crossing the street.

We got to Ross, and it was comfortably full.  We went downstairs, picked around through the dresses, toys, toys, and toys.  Alex wandered around the shirts.  But then…Nature Called!  Iolani announced that she needed to use the restroom.  Ross doesn't have a customer restroom…so we left without buying anything.  Don't worry - we'll go back…but not before Iolani's figured why it is important to value clean bathrooms.

Next up…the hunt for the bathroom.  Alex treated us to an afternoon snack at Figaro: Macaroon, cake, and coffee.  Figaro treated us to a nice clean bathroom.  It was a tiny bit surreal to be inside Figaro, and look out to see Broadway.  There's this mix of the 1980's Broadway, the 1990's Broadway, and the current Broadway…as I like it.  

At this point, Alex is attempting the discussion about how to get Iolani down for a nap.  But, what he didn't know was that in the bathroom, Iolani had a near meltdown over the paper towel holder being empty.  That was a great sign that she's tired.  We headed out, walking to the subway…walking up 7th Street towards Pershing Square.  

All the sudden the music got really loud.  Really loud…like when a band sets up in the alley to shoot their music video. Yes, they still make those. As we were walking by, a production assistant was frantically telling us to keep walking as to not mess up the background shot.  Iolani was amused that a band was set up on the street.  She's seen it before, but I don't think seeing a band set up in the alley is too outrageous.  Regardless, she started to bob her head.

We made our way to the subway, which was still filled with these Swedish Mafia fans heading to the park.  Alex was still rehearsing his game plan for getting Iolani to nap.  I'm thinking I just need to hold her in my arms and she'll fall fast asleep.  I was pretty confident that Alex didn't think she would fall asleep in my arms.  Especially when half of Venice and West LA packed the subway car.  At least they moved as I made my way to a seat on the train.  

She totally fell asleep in my arms.  She was out by the time we made it to Union Station.  We've been home for about an hour, and she's still sleeping.

All this to say…with utility work, a movie shoot, a video shoot, a grand opening, a gigantic music festival, and who cares what was happening at LA Live…DTLA has plenty of capacity for whatever you want to do, bring on a football stadium!  

Bee Tee Dubs - we finished all the paperwork to renew our lease on our apartment rental.  We know that we will be in the El Pueblo for another year.  We stay because our daughter likes it here, and everything she needs is well within reach.   

2/17/2013

Sunday Night Purse Cleanout!



  • Three tubes of hand sanitizer
  • Four tubes of lotion
  • 4 ways to deal with a headache
  • Rapunzel's gloves
  • 12 crayons
  • 7 different Rotary pins
  • two wallets (one for daily use, and the other has two checkbooks)
  • Bandaids
  • A bag of rocks
  • Laptop, iPad, adapters and relevant power cords
  • three bags of tissues
  • two kinds of handiwipes
  • Reusable shopping bag
  • a color book
  • broken pen with a pink fluffy thing
  • 6 pens
  • 3 styli 
  • The book of gift cards and other store cards
  • his sunglasses
  • my sunglasses
  • and my keys
The iphone wasn't in the mix because that's what I used to take the picture.

PS - this is AFTER the cleanout.

1/29/2013

 
Just for point of reference: I'm a size 12 - and wouldn't be shocked if anyone nominated me for this. 

1/06/2013

New Cat on the Prowl

Two things happened this weekend. 1) Jackie Brown moved in with us.



2) Iolani cut her bangs again




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1/02/2013

Metro Chinatown Senior Lofts

Are you over over 55, looking to live DTLA (or know someone who is).  The Metro at Chinatown Senior Lofts (near the Metro Gold Line Chinatown stop) has studios, 1,2,and 3 bedroom apartments opening up.  Rents: $723, $769, $929, and $1,112 (respectively).  They have income limits, so if you make from $0 to $44,760.... Website: http://www.metrochinatownseniorlofts.com

PS - the rent prices shown online are not correct.

12/31/2012

Our Holiday Season

If you follow me on Twitter or Facebook, you know that we got and lost Ferb (the cat) in a very short amount of time.  We were not expecting to have to explain "death" to our child quite so soon.  It's like that last bit of innocence before she becomes a real human being, who has learned how to love someone and then to lose them...and to have it happen during the holiday season.  Oh, man.  Take a deep breath, do a gut check, and just be thankful that the month is nearly over.

For as quick as this year went, this holiday season dragged on.  Not in a bad way, but it seemed like the holiday season started as soon as the Halloween candy went stale.  No wait...the Halloween candy is still here and isn't stale yet.  I hope that our house sticks to the Nordstrom approach of not talking about Christmas until after Thanksgiving.  Thank God for Nordstrom.

In any case, Ferb...We are pretty sure that he had FIP.  He had all the symptoms, and thanks to friends...and a very supportive team at the Eagle Rock Emergency Pet Clinic, everyone was able to put Ferb's needs and feelings first. The EREPC staff was just so warm to Ferb, myself, and my need to text back and forth with my husband, my friend in AZ, and tweet my absolute anguish. 

Ferb was Iolani's cat. For the rare moments he felt well, he would sleep with Iolani.  When they would end up going "Number 2" at the same time, Iolani would howl about who made the larger stink.  I think we were all under the impression that Ferb just really liked being around us.  

Having to explain why the cat would not be coming home from the emergency room was daunting.  Answering the questions of why? Was it the Christmas Tree water? When will he come back? Then came the ultimate tearjerk "Who will be my best friend now?"

Oh my God.  If your eyes haven't welled up yet...then give me a call and you can hear my voice.  

It has been two days since Ferb's passing.  She asked again this morning for the exact location of Ferb.  My response has become steady and direct: Ferb got sick, the doctor couldn't fix him, we found out that he was sick even before he came to live with us, he's up in heaven.  

She asked if she could have a dog, noting "dogs don't get sick and die".  I quickly broke the news to her that dogs get sick and die too.  Then, she asked for a white cat.  (I'm thinking to myself...a white short-haired cat will be so hard to find!).  After I didn't respond to her, she said "And take him to the doctor to make sure he doesn't have Ferb Flu".

I replied: "Yes - I promise that if we get another cat, I will have it checked for Ferb Flu".  A $300+ test

We headed out to Pasadena for her to ride her bike.  Over at Central Park she had long stretches where she could be a good distance from me, and yet I could have full view of her.  She was just looking up at the sky, taking in the moment.  Going as fast as she could on her little bike.  Historically, she will ride for 10-15 minutes and call it a day.  We were gone for over 4 hours, with a quick stop for lunch.  She just wanted to ride her bike.  

12/18/2012

see you


GH&T readers know that at the end of the year I tend to do these “lookbacks” to the highs and lows from the year.  I was thinking about needing to write this entry, and I’ve decided to not look back.  The year was what it was. It was a year of “It will get better”.  

I spent this year shoulder deep in work, relationships, and not a lot of baseball.  I spent a lot of this year unintentionally reconnecting with people who add a tremendous amount to my life, while at the same recognizing the love and value of the people around me.  

Without a doubt, I can say that I have a great life.  It isn’t perfect, and it shouldn’t be.  Perfect is something nice to strive for, but for some reason it seems to be just too much to reach for. Like you, I have days of rainbows, glitter, and puffy clouds.  And, like you...I have days of fuck, shit, argh, damnit, and something I would describe as  a “momentary emotional outburst that involve tears”.   At the conclusion of said “momentary emotional outbursts” I think to myself “It will get better”, dust myself off and get on with it.

(I swear on a stack of bibles, this is going somewhere)

You know, I walk through Union Station at least two times a day.  I have the opportunity to pass at least 50 people every time.  I often think to myself that I should put my phone away and look up, make eye contact with as many people as possible...because I want people to know that I see them.  I see you.  Not like a security, creepy kind of thing, but when you consider how many people you might pass in a day and not say hello...but just pass them in the hall...I can’t help but think about how many people go through their day and only get their recognition as a human being one or two times a day.  

And, that’s it...that is my point.  The project of “it gets better” was just a start.  The next step literally must be “You are not alone”

My friends...You Are Not Alone, and further - you are not invisible.  You might be stuck behind the big espresso machine, commuting, in the midst of crossing the street...you’ll see me...and I’ll look to make eye contact with you so that you know that I see you.

12/15/2012

2012 Video Yearbook

video

2012 - it has been real.  :-)
This is the mobile version of the video.  If you want the real think, check out Facebook.

12/09/2012

No more Nice Mommy

It has been quite the weekend.  I had high hopes on Friday, when Iolani made the Union Station Pilgrimage without the use of the stroller. She wanted to be seen wearing her backpack, she was full of conversation about what she was expecting of the day.  When I picked her up that evenings, we traveled home - sans stroller.  I'm thinking we are dee Ohhh Ennnn EEEE with the stroller.  Let's see how Monday morning goes.

Saturday afternoon, Alex and I found ourselves knee deep in the discussion about Discipline.  We are a no-spank house, we haven't really been successful in using timeouts.  We have been good about just saying "go to your room".  In fact, when she thinks she's done something wrong, often times she will just go to her room on her own.

So, when her attitude blatantly ignores Alex - and I'm supplied with "But but but but but...Mommy...." I think we were both at a loss of what to do.

And, then...this afternoon while we were at the theater watching Nutcracker...imagine our horror...ABSOLUTE HORROR...when our child no only is antsy at the theater, but then begins a meltdown/tantrum in the middle of the theater. At least 40 other people didn't have to imagine it - they lived it.  We had to leave.  We LEFT the theater.  We had a talk outside the theater about how Daddy was really looking forward to the movie, that it was something nice he wanted to do for us, and further - that Daddy was going to be very sad that Iolani had to cry during the Nutcracker.  Her reason: she claimed to miss the cat.

As we made our way out the door, I remembered the other reason for our trip to the area: Santa Claus. The dilemma became - Do we go straight home, or do we visit Santa and go home.  Once we decided that Santa was going to get a visit, I had to get cash from the ATM to pay for the Santa visit.  Another tantrum ensued...right in front of Santa Claus.  So, of course - once we did get up there, Santa so graciously mentioned that Iolani needed to start listening to her parents.

That lasted all of one Alley.

So, here we are.  Figuring out that if she doesn't get enough time to play outside she is going to be like this.  If she doesn't get enough mommy/daddy time, she's going to be like this.  I say this with a smile, I wouldn't trade her for anything in the world - but OMG...the girl needs constant nurturing.  LOL.

So - raise your sippy cup to constant nurturing.

11/16/2012

How did they do?

Well - I missed voting in the neighborhood council elections.  I got wrapped up in the evacuation of Iolani's daycare and missed it. 

In any case - how did the unofficial votes turn out?  First...HCNC.

I had a friendly bet going with a fellow stakeholder that the Arts District would experience "UNPRECEDENTED" participation, and boy was I wrong.  5 people turned out to vote for Angie. 

To those five people...thanks, but why not drag your neighbor with you? 

The Unofficial Results are here: http://empowerla.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/07/Historic-Cultural-NC-Canvass-of-Votes.pdf

DLANC
http://empowerla.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/07/Downtown-Los-Angeles-NC-Canvass-of-Votes.pdf
Not the "Holy crap, make more copies of the ballot" turnout I hoped for...but hey....bring on the friendly snark:

Patti wiped the floor with Edgar. Edgar ran a good race...he's a good guy.
Hal - always brings the voters to the yard...heeeeeey.
Tina Pellegrino - word on the street...she might be good at community organizing. Yes!
David Hurtando and Travis Kasper took my advice and voted for themselves.  :-)

The race I knew that would be: Jessyka and General Jeff.   I didn't even try to hide it - General Jeff always had my support for his reelection.   It is unfortunate that Jessyka said in an email to me that she was listed under the wrong category...only for me to hear from others that she fully intended to run for the resident seat.  That made me sad.

Scott Bytof won without a coin toss, and by two votes.  I won't hide my ongoing disappointment with the residents of South Park not to get engaged.  But, maybe they are all too busy working to pay for those monster mortgages they all must have.

The ACE seats...daaaang...isn't that like three new faces on the council.  Snap. 

Well, then you bring in Joe Moeller...not only did he vote for himself, but he got 53 OTHER people to do the same.  (Pssst: David and Travis...that's what's supposed to happen)

The SSP - another turnout masterpiece...Hats off to Adam Anglin for voting for himself. 

So - now...for those candidates who didn't win...please note that you can still (or maybe this will be your first time) participate during DLANC activities.  Go get em!


11/12/2012

DLANC Ballot S.N.A.F.U. Unfortunately.

DLANC election
Tonight I enveloped with my DLANC ballot.  I'd like to tell you that I've been saving it for tonight…except…that Alex asked about my ballot last week, and I got busy and just forgot it (and lost it for a moment…but I found it tonight).  

Okay, I'm beyond disgusted, disappointed, and just almost…alllllllllllmmmmmmoooooooossssssst just this shy of seeking some level of disengagement.  I'm sure there is someone sitting over at DONE just dreading my upcoming paragraphs.  Trust me…I'm dreading it too.

The Envelope:

  1. I provided my entire mailing address on my vote-by-mail application.  Look how my envelope with my ballot arrived. Maybe I'm the only DLANC voter in the apartment complex of 272 apartments.  Thank you to the mailman for delivering my ballot.
  2. My pink ballot says I'm voting for the social services provider ballot.  The only social services I provide…revolve around serving wine at dinner parties.  I registered to be an at-large stakeholder.  I do not live in the DLANC boundaries (I'm in HCNC's district), I go to church in South Park, and I feel like I'm just an all-around DLANC stakeholder.



My ballot:

Okay, I'm trying my best to remain calm and not stick on ALL CAPS. BUT SWEET RICE KRISPIES, DONE sent me the wrong ballot to an incomplete address, and now I am gonna have to figure out how to get to the DTLA Exchange on the day of a very important work-related meeting.  I registered for a mail-in ballot because I sincerely VALUE this election, what it means to my community…and if DONE can't do some kind of cross check and quality control…maybe the neighborhood council needs to use some of their money to use the City Clerk's office to run the election.  Although…when the clerk ran it…there were problems too.

So, okay…what do we do.  It is a "royal" WE thing…if the neighborhood councils are going to be seen as a bunch of neighborhood wahoo advocates, fine…let the councils run their own elections, because this kind of mess (IT IS THE WRONG BALLOT!!!) is something I know many of the neighborhood council's that I've come in contact with would never stand for.  But…if the City sees neighborhood councils as a legitimate act of representative government…then both the neighborhood councils and City Departments and the Council need to fold these elections into the City elections.  

Meanwhile, I'll make my way to DTLA exchange on Thursday to get the right ballot and cast my votes.  Argh…so frustrated and disappointed.  And...just in case you forgot..here's the listing of candidates that may or may not be accurate.  (Oh geesh...I'm starting to sound like Militant Angeleno...sorry dude)

11/11/2012

The Bike!

You know I bought a bike.  I've been trying my best not to be like "I HAVE A BIKE!!!!".  It isn't a "special" bike, the tires are big, it's a something-speed, there's no aerodynamics involved...it is just a bike.  I've been using the bike to get to church, but I have to admit...I'm having to fight the urge to ride this thing everywhere.  Maybe it is because I haven't had a near-miss...or because the weather has been so nice...but now...I'm excited...it is time for the next step...a ride to work.

It's a whopping 7.1 miles.  I got this.

Alex and Iolani will stay home tomorrow, and I can ride my bike to work.  It is a good day to do it...a holiday for most...I will be in the office for the day.  And...to get home (because it will be dark and I don't feel confident to make the ride in the dark) I'll hop the Metrolink for $5.50.

It feels good to ride through town, waving to people as I go by thinking "Hey, I could be walking and talking with friends...or zoom zoom zoom!!!"  I spend the ride strategizing the approach to the hill, timing my pedaling with the light...not really focused on the four million things waiting for me at either point A or point B.

10/25/2012

The Dark Anniversary

Of course there's not a year that goes by that this date doesn't burn on my heart, my brain, or in my eyes.  On this day in 1994, our mother and her boyfriend did not wake up.  I don't think I've ever described it this way, but it seems to be a much peaceful picture when compared to the horrible thing that happened.

On this day in 1994, our mother and her boyfriend became a statistic...murdered by someone they knew. The circumstances around it have always confused me - how could someone you know take your life? How could his son and nephew do this to him? Why would they do this to our  mother? 

These are questions I could ask, but why?  What closure or resolution would it bring me?  It brings me nothing. 

So, this is where it sits - every year on her birthday and the day that she died, I get to ask myself these questions.  I get to remind people that she's gone, and how she left - all in hopes that people will lock up their guns?  

Or, I can "chin up" and remind myself of the trials and tribulations that we all experience as human beings, recognize that this is "My Path", and get our little girl ready for school.  

There isn't a day that goes by that I don't think of her, but you knew that already.  


10/13/2012

Bonding Over Shoes

Last night we ventured out to the far eastern reaches of Pasadena for the Nordstrom Rack. The upside is that we arrived about an hour before closing time, so I had some confidence that we wouldn't walk out the door with something that would cause us heartache in the next 30 days.

Iolani played along with the "idea" that our goal was to find Alex a new workbag.  She was able to convince me of this until we got to the second floor.  At that  point she asked if she could go back downstairs and sit next to this boy that was sitting at the front door.

At first I was thinking...OMG...why does she want to sit next to this boy?!?!?!?! But then it dawned on me, this kid was sitting all alone, by the front door, waiting for his mom to finish shopping.  He had something Iolani didn't have at this moment: Complete Freedom of Movement.  Still - our answer to her was "No".

As Alex went about trying to find a back, Iolani and I went over to a rack with clothes in her size.  First she was asking "Is this my area? Are these my size?"

Once I confirmed these were 4...she started to thumb through the rack, found two very glittery dresses and proudly announced "I NEED THESE"

"For what?  When will you wear these?", I ask.

"At home, I will wear them at home", she says.

"You could wear them out to dinner", I say.

She continues "But I can't wear them in my car seat, they will get wrinkly, so we have to take the train".

So, although they were great dresses...she didn't think she would have enough opportunities to wear the dresses.  And great...they were $40 a piece.

Next..she found the shoes.  She was asking me what her size was...and I have to admit I don't know because she would never put her foot in that measure thingee.  Until last night!  She's an almost 8!!!

We went to the 8 aisle, and because she knows what the number 8 looks like, she started pulling down shoes that she wanted to try on.  She took her shoes and socks off...started putting on shoes.  I would hear "yes" or "no", as she made quick mincemeat of the Nordstrom kids shoe rack.  The glittery shoes would get an extra "Ohhhhhhh....sparkle!!!!" and the drab-and-dreary would get the "these are ugly, right mom" once over.

She narrowed it down to three pairs of shoes.  At that point I realized that Alex had texted, not once...twice...but three times "WHERE ARE YOU GUYS!??!?!?!".  I replied with a picture of her trying on pink crocs.    He came over, saw the madness of shoes.  She quickly picked out the one pair, although she tried with the "I need three" approach.

We were left unattended again.  I gave into the idea that she really needed to see the boy downstairs.  Thank goodness he wasn't there, because as she was starting to wimper about missing the boy, she spotted PINK GLITTERY NAIL POLISH...like a bug to a light...all was right in the world.

But wait...there's more.

I asked that since we were downstairs, I wanted to make a trip over the purses.  To get to the purses, you have to get through the accessories.  Iolani loves accessories.  She picked up a necklace that was full of eclectic big bobbly beads (Betsey Johnson)...that was $80 on clearance.  OMG - I was so happy when she found a $12 necklace that I could trade with her.  Although the Betsey Johnson necklace was better for her.

It was so fun to watch her try on necklaces, and gently put them back.  She would walk over to the mirror, gently try on the necklace and look at the necklace from different angles.  We tried on hats, I tried clutches.  She went back and forth, trying on just a bunch of necklaces.  There was a nice comment from the sales clerk, implying that Iolani was being very thoughtful in how she would put everything back as she finished.

This was the first not-stressful shopping event, ever.  She was calm..enjoying the art of the jewelry.  Alex was again sending us frantic text messages to come back upstairs to see some shoes.  Soon thereafter, the store announced it was closed, and we came home...with a necklace, pair of shoes, and I think...some nail polish.

10/08/2012

DLANC Election Crash Course

It is time again for the Downtown Los Angeles Neighborhood Council elections!  Just as confusing as a round of referendums, ordinances, and propositions… here are my tips....
 
  1. Register to vote in the DLANC election.  Your voter registration for this coming presidential election isn’t the same registration you need for the DLANC election.  Just head on over to the webpage and register to vote…after you read Tip #2
  2. Take a look at the stakeholder groups, located in the DLANC bylaws.  For the ease of the GH&T reader, here's the quick sheet:
There are 28 board members.  11 must be residents, 8 from businesses, 3 from Arts, 2 from Social Service Proivders, 2 from "workforce", and 1 At-large director who can claim to represent any kind of stakeholder in Downtown.  I think somewhere along the lines of life, I started referring this representative at the "At-Large At-Large"
 
Because the 11 resident directors are broken down into 11 distinct groups, including an at-large resident.  The directors represent the neigborhoods of Downtown, and you really have to pay attention to the district, because some of them are kind of wonky.  The Fashion District resident area comes all the way up to 7th and Spring.  Resident directors also include Resident Artist, Homeless, and the at-large. 
 
On the business side, again - broken up into 8 director positions, separated by neighborhood, and an at-large.
 
The three remaining postiions, include the "Arts, Cultural, and Educational Interests", "Social service Provider" and "Workforce"  Pay particular attention to the "workforce" position...You cannot LIVE downtown in order to run for this position.
 
Before you register to vote, you need to think about what "kind" of stakeholder you are.  Many of us wear different hats, or even more appropriately - one might want to vote for their friend, or someone within a specific stakeholder group.  I'm not suggesting that you game the system, I just want you to be aware of the system as a whole.
 
The way you register to vote in this election pre-determines which ballot you will have access to.  If for instance, you live at PE Lofts, but own a shop in the Fashion District...you will need to make a decision on whether or not to reigster as a resident...and have the opportunity to vote for the Historic Downtown resident rep, the At-Large Resident, and the At-Large At-Large.  If you register as a business owner, you'll vote for the Fashion District business rep, the At-Large Business rep, and the At-Large At-Large.
 
I'm registered as an At-Large stakeholder.  I do not live or work within DLANC's boundaries.  I live in the Historic Cultural Neighborhood Council, and I work in the Atwater Village Neighborhood Council.  But...I go to church in South Park, and I'm a member of the Rotary Club of Downtown Los Angeles.  Plus, my daughter plays at Grand Hope park, Grand Park, and places in between.  I consider myself a DLANC Stakeholder.  Therefore, I registered as an At-Large stakeholder, and I will only be able to vote for the At-Large At-Large representative. 
 
 
And, get yourself a reminder that DLANC election day is November 14, 2012.
 
NOW...for those who are seeking a seat on DLANC...
 
Before you choose what seat you are going to run for...consider who you plan to represent.  For those in the area that are both residents and business owners - you have a distinct advantage of having all these options.  However...I believe the rules have been updated so that you can only run for one position at a time. 
 
Once you've registered to vote and be a candidate - now comes the most difficult part of seeking this position: Getting people to vote for you.  You need to become a one-person-GOTV machine.
 
I did this, it was quite frankly - one of the most challenging things I've ever done.  And...I've birthed a child.
 
Getting people registered to vote in a way they can legally vote for you is a bit of a bear, but you have to do it.  You need to make sure that if you are running for the business position, that you get other business stakeholders to vote for you.
 
So, if you've registered to run for the Central City East resident position...you need to go and find other Central City East residents, get them to register to vote, get them to remember to vote, and get them to vote for you. 
 
If you are running for the Historic Downtown business position...you have to get people who've registered as other Historic Downtown businesses to participate in the vote for you. 
 
You start to see the challenge?  It is relatively easy to "get people to vote for you" but when you have to really drill into the segment of the population, it becomes a real challenge.  And I haven't even mentioned what to do when there's a competitor in the race.
 
Back when I ran, even though I hosted candidate events, I had flyers, I bugged my neighbors...I got all of 20 votes.  My competitor secured 8.  It was a horse race.  That was the year Russ Brown won with 60-something votes...and he was the highest vote getter.
 
Turn out has always been painful...just look:
2008 (the one that ended with the coin toss, and Stanley had the headscratching top turnout)
2010 (Valerie really turned it out with 300+ votes, when she ran for the At-Large At-Large)
 
Needless to say - this election (like all Neighborhood Council elections) are undoubtedly dependent on candidates to secure the turnout. And, in the area...between now and the end of the year there are three elections: Presidential, DLANC, and the Streetcar.  DLANC Candidates will need to find a way to rise above the fray, get out their message, and help voters stay engaged. 
 
Good luck to both the candidates and voters...you need it. And- also...if you are a candidate...please do not forget to vote for yourself.  There was one year the guy appeared on the ballot and didn't get a single vote...as in...he didn't even vote for himself.  >sigh<
 
And no...I am not running for DLANC. 

9/19/2012

OOT

Out of Town for those who don't "do" text message speak.  And, as I've settled into my role at "Mommy" - I wanted to convey a couple of ground rules for everyone as we are going to be OOT for the next couple of days:


  1. You cannot park in our parking spot.  Unless your mommy's name is Celeste, and your daddy's name is Travis.
  2. Unless your name is Mark, or an employee of Mark - you cannot come in the house.  
  3. No one can play with Iolani's toys while we are gone.  That includes any of her dress-up clothes, tea sets, or her tool box.
  4. The pool, for as much as I've tried to convince Iolani...is for our neighbors.  It is not ours, we share it.
  5. Please do not make a mess of the Facebook Groups we administer.  This is not the time to take great pictures of you photobombing potholing locations. Take those pictures from afar and post.
  6. Please do not crank call the office. Do not fill up my voicemail box with your renditions of "Call Me Maybe" or anything by The Beibs.
  7. Avoid any large protests, marches, or throwing things at windows.  Please leave the newspaper stands attached to their pedestal. 
  8. Do not camp out at the house waiting for our return.  I promise, we will come home and we will have meatloaf soon.

8/27/2012

She's Fierce, She's Four


Here we are…four years ago Iolani made her grand entrance in to the world. But more importantly – Alex and I have been successful in nurturing and growing this child.  So far, so good.  Although, I think we battle with balancing our desire to “give her everything” with helping her to understand that you have to “work for everything”.  I think every parent has that battle.  Regardless, she’s sharp, sassy, and tuned in to the world around her.

Watching her over the last couple of weeks, she’s changed. It used to be I could just set clothes out and she’d wear them.  Now, she wants to pick them out AND put them on by herself. I suppose that means I can start focusing on me again in the morning.  For example, I think the first thing I will start doing again is brushing my hair and teeth.  J

Because I’ve never done this before, I look at Babycenter.com for a lot of advice for those things I don’t want to ask my friends about.  Babycenter’s email today talks about how “she’s four now” and reminds me that I should quietly go through her toys and hand them off to Goodwill.  That is a very good idea.  She’s got a lot of baby toys tucked in there, but for the most part she’s all crayons, markers, stamps, and paint.  Maybe it is time to upgrade her watercolor brushes. 

Holy crap…I need to schedule that 4-year old well child visit.  I wonder if she will need any shots?

>calling now<

Holy crap!  They can’t see her until the end of October.  Well…That will teach me.  Lesson learned.  Iolani’s well child visits should be scheduled in June.  Which is probably a good idea moving forward anyways because in August there’s always the rush for back to school physicals.

Trips to the ER in the last year: Oh, when was that Bead up the nose  incident?
Toilet trained: Oh hell yea!  Bonus question: No bed wetting!
What does she like to eat: chicken, cotton candy, hotdogs, broccoli off of other people’s plates, cookies, and pasta
Can she ride a tricycle: outgrew it.  She’s on a bike with training wheels
Preschool: Yup.
Fluoride in the water: Yes.
Games does she like: “Catch your bootie”, swimming, tea party (the good kind), and restaurant.
The Safety Talk: We’ve had it.  However, it will never sound right hearing her say “We live at Union Station” And, if you ask me…for a child who is never in trouble and for perfectly law-abiding parents…she knows a lot of Sheriff Deputies and LAPD officers.

8/20/2012

Solano Elementary is looking for your vote...


Remember how I virtually banged on every facebook door in order for us to draw attention to the Curbed Cup?  Well...this time, make your clicks matter! Solano Elementary needs your click desperately. The top school currently has over 1K clicks, and Solano has only 181 clicks.  Stop playing Farmville for one moment, or debating the next restaurant, or figuring out what to do with Escondite...and go click.

http://apps.facebook.com/givewithtarget/schools/5818

8/07/2012

35K

I'd like to thank everyone who has visit GH&T over the years.  I just noticed that I'm at 35,089 hits on the site.  Pretty good for a little girl from the sticks.  :-)

8/04/2012

The Appropriate Armageddon?

The Occupy Movement began as this admirable movement, you know.  It was initially seen as this "unemployed kids, sleeping in the park, protesting against corporate greed" kind of thing.  Then, all the sudden there's some traction, and it wasn't just unemployed kids...it was fully employed working folks who are underwater on their home loans or unable to buy homes because of the heavy weight of student loans...still protesting against corporate greed.  The movement became A Movement, and Occupy Wall Street started popping up in cities throughout the United States. 

Here in LA, Occupy was welcomed...at first.  The timing was right, Los Angeles was able to squeak out some accountability measures, you would see banks start to make small good-faith efforts to address home loans, and the dire straights homeowners had place themselves in after being sold on the idea that homeownership was the gateway drug, (or just a gateway) to being a real American.

Same time, we've got Downtown Los Angeles...continuing on her continual journey of community justification.  What a term...but for those of us surrounded by a freeway, you know what I mean.  "You live in Downtown? Wow! How does that work?"  said in the tone that for whatever reason means that you need to justify your neighborhood, or justify that you life in a legitimate neighborhood that has industrial, retail, wholesale, and residential all built into one...and that through the grace of Grace - they co-exist. 

So, here we are...Occupy and DTLA...both on their quests to justify their existence, each with their organic (in more ways than one) hopes, dreams and fears.  But, here's the challenge...Artwalk.

Artwalk is a form to itself.  For months, if not years...Artwalk has become a party, a way to make rent, an inexpensive venue for new, up and coming artists, and a social gathering opportunity that doesn't have a cover charge, and doesn't care which river, freeway, or subway line you had to take to get here.  Artwalk has groups of people who have different roles, but there's not a single person in charge of it, and how could there be...this is an organic element.  To put structure around this bit of social energy...it would have to change in such a dramatic way...you'd change the face of Artwalk, and it would likely cease being the event that it is now.

Except, even before Occupy came to town...Artwalk was using increased police presence, had disorderly artwalkers.  There's certain corners you don't go to, certain bars and restaraunts you don't go to because it was Artwalk.  So, if you really wanted to get into trouble and you didn't want to have to work very hard at it...just come one down to Artwalk and have yourself a good time.

Do you remember, a year ago...a 2 month old baby died while enjoying an evening out at Artwalk? Even before that, google Artwalk fights, or Artwalk drunks, or Artwalk arrests...check the time stamp...

I don't say this to point fingers at Artwalk, really...because there's no fingers to point to.  And, the City, property owners, restaraunts, businesses...those who benefit and who don't benefit from Artwalk have at least have the wherewithall to continue the dialogue. 

Enter Occupy LA (OLA) at Pershing Square. 
1) I'm still not clear on why moving over to 626 Wilshire to the CCA offices is a OLA thing.  If you look at 7th Street...you aren't seeing corporate franchises, but what you are seeing are businesses that benefitted from CCA's program to assist new businesses weave through the permitting process, tours given to prospective business owners to encourage them to locate in DTLA.  Yes - there are plenty of large corporate and financial partners, but the majority of the CCA membership are small, locally owned businesses that are in DTLA to do business with other DTLA businesses. 

2) Pershing Square was a rough place before OLA.  There's the Farmers Market, but the rest of the time Pershing is a bit of a respite for those who call 5th/San Julian home.  Pershing is a step up, a quiet spot to get away from the loud chatter of Skid Row.  During the day, it might be the only quiet place for our neighbors who call the streets home aka The Homeless...to be.  And, OLA - you've taken that from them. There, I've said it: OLA...your presence is gentrifying Pershing Square...you are pushinig out legitimately our underserved, underhoused, and dearly beloved neighbors to places unknown to them.  And, that is sad.  Because any normal person can look at Skid Row and think "this is not normal, how could a City do this to her residents?".  In Downtown - this is our normal.  We have homeless people, they are our neighbors! We have those who don't want to be housed...they have addictions, mental illnesses, or for some other reason - are now in a position where Pershing Square was a safe place for them to congregate during the day...and now that is lost.

And, if you aren't usually in DTLA, you'd never notice the shift.

The people who've left the park did not ask to be a part of OLA, for those who are now sleeping in the crevases of 7th Street, moved up to the underpasses at 4th...they did not ask to be a part of your revolution.  They just are trying to get through the next 4 minutes.  These are individuals who have no level of comfort in dealing with others.  It's like putting someone who has terrible stage fright on live network, with a studio audience of 100. 

OLA, I miss the days of the Occupy Message - fight corporate greed, work for loan reform, expect accountability from our financial institutions.  I hope you can get back on track, but you really need to do it quickly.

7/16/2012

Acknowledge and keep moving

Yes - it's here again.  Three days from now would have been my mother's 60th birthday.  Since 1995 we've had to say "she would have been...".  I have a busy week, the kind where I really can't deal with a day of "she would have been" or wonder what would she look like at this age.  I don't ever wonder what she would sound like, or what would she say - after she became "her" again, she was very predictably unpredictable.

Here's what I can say about mom turning 60...even though she was a life-long smoker, liked her boxed wine...she likely wouldn't have looked a day over 40.  She liked her hair color, her makeup, her moisturizer...I'm pretty sure the woman just wouldn't age.

I don't ever remember doing anything special outside of a birthday cake and spaghetti for dinner on her birthday. I do remember her annual reminder that she was pregnant...very pregnant on her 24th birthday, as I was born just a couple of days later.

Funny thing is that I was very pregnant with Iolani on my 32nd birthday.  I remember that miserable feeling of being fat, not fitting into pajamas, only wanting to eat drum stick ice creams.  And then a month later there was Iolani. I didn't really ever think about that until now.

So of course - now I've all teared up.  :-)

Needless to say - I miss my mom, even though we had this tumultuous relationship.  Someone once told me when I was not speaking to her that I'd regret the day I told my mom to go away.  I no longer regret the feeling, but it is a good reminder to take life just serious enough to pay attention to utility bills that come in colored envelopes.

Gotta go...Iolani wants her pink toothbrush to brush her Barbie's hair.

7/08/2012

Twitter reports decline in use

For those who follow me on Facebook, Foursquare, and Twitter - You probably (or haven't) noticed a bit of a drop off.  Well...I'm a little technically challenged lately.  First - I lost my iPhone so I've been downsized to the old iPhone Iolani's been using.  Second - I'm back to using a PC at work, and I'm just not as fast as I used to be.  Maybe because I'm getting older, but my RSS feeds didn't import over a nicely as the Internet said it would. Lying internet bastards.... Thank God (and Chris) for the iPad!

If you don't know what an RSS feed is, then clearly you are not a bastard.  :-) If you do know what an RSS feed is and know how to get them out of Mac Mail and into Outlook...hook a girl up will ya?

6/30/2012

Dance Class!

Iolani has been taking dance classes for the last couple of months. She's come home humming "sock-hop" songs, twirling around, and things that seem normal for 3 year olds to do. Finally - today arrived: Dance Recital!

At previous school performances, she's shy-ed up and was unable to participate in the performances. So, we didn't have any real expectations (honest to God) that she would actually get onto stage and dance.  But, she did.  Oh...yes...she did!

Alex has the video, do stalk his Facebook page.

She danced, got distracted, danced again, and repeated this a couple of times.  And now... I cannot get her out of her little unitard dance top.  The girl's on fire!  She's a dancing queen!

6/23/2012

The Fight Among Us







I doubt any of these writers care to ask me if "I have it all"  - nor do I expect someone to text me the question.  Here's my response…I'm sure you will sense some sarcasm.

I do have it all.  ALL of it.  I have laundry, email, and dinner to make.  I have a daughter who knows the names of the people in my work world better than she knows her extended family. I have a husband who's keeps a calendar to know when I'm home for dinner, and when it's his turn to cook.  I have student loans, bills, a car that got a really bad car wash, and a stinky bear that I had to "pull some strings" in order to rescue him from daycare at 11 at night.  I "have it all" for a couple of people. 

I see the point of these writers - theres's an inequity in our worlds.  Have your babies too young and you endanger your educational opportunities, which then impact your income-making prospects.  Have your babies too old and you endanger professional advancement, which then impact your income-making prospects.  And - if you forego (either by choice or force) babies, there's this unspoken implication that you do not see the value in childrearing. 

And here we are again…the value of a woman has been boiled down to our willingness to have children.  Not our desire to have children, but our willingness.  How nice.  

So, here's the deal.  Clearly, I sense a conspiracy here.  There's a distraction at play, and the ladies are all being fooled into forming a circle to start shooting at each other.  There's the stay-at-home mom, the attachment mom, tiger mom, working mom, the no-children lady, the infertile, the all or nothing, the bitch, the pushover, the liberal, the conservative….  I didn't even get the chance to talk about the economic inequities of women - within womanhoodland.

Don't get distracted, there's a political war that is separating and compartmentalizing women.  I have this horrible gut feeling that we are losing this war.  Our menstral cycles are clearly not lined up, and we are not on the same page. Maybe once scientists find the cure for male-pattern baldness before a cure for breast or uterine cancer...we will start to feel that sense of urgency.

5/31/2012

Can I borrow your OCD?


I’m about to describe something that might be considered offensive.  Not like blood and guts offensive, and maybe “insensitive” offensive.
I need someone who truly has that “Obsessive Compulsive Disorder” - aka OCD.  I need someone who’s gone to the doctor and the doctor says to them - “why, it’s just OCD...here’s a prescription”.  I need someone who has been told by their doctor to avoid stressful situations that would trigger an OCD episode.
Why?  Because my house is an unmitigatable unorganized disaster.  (Just a side note - the dictionary says that “unmitigatable” isn’t a word.  Welcome to my world.)
The situation just happened. Our last move was a pretty fast move.  For all intents and purposes we packed and unpacked in about three days. Iolani’s room has four small buckets of separated puzzles, train tracks, legos, and other bits and pieces of sets of things.  Her closet has a little bit of her clothes, but it also unfortunately serves as the catch-all.  Our bedroom is a hot mess.  
But the worst of it is the kitchen.  I had some vague idea of what I wanted the kitchen to look like, and then came the reality of Monday morning.  Iolani’s foods are down low.  Alex’s foods are up high.  Everything is everywhere else.  I open a drawer and there’s parts of a sippy cup that we haven’t used in a year and I don’t even have all the pieces for it.  Storage containers are housed in almost every part of the kitchen...and yet I struggle to find a matching set.
I know where the coffee’s at.  There’s like an unspoken cosmic law that I always know where the coffee’s at.  The coffeemaker on the other hand...sigh.  Who cares - you all know I’ll chew the grounds.
I would love to have my kitchen organized.  However, I lack the luxury of uninterrupted time to organize the damn thing.  I am willing to give up my coffee budget for a month ($75 believe it or not) if there’s an OCD person who would like to benefit from their affliction.  $75 bucks is all yours if you can organize my kitchen.  I feel that if you truly have OCD you will be able to effectively, efficiently, and accurately organize my kitchen. 
Some ground rules:
You’ll need three people who can vouch for your level of “OCD”ism. Even better if I know you or one of your references already.  (And meeting at a transit meeting doesn’t count)(Sorry!)
You are only organizing the kitchen.  Anything outside of the kitchen is totally off limits  
You’ll have three hours to accomplish this feat. (not including the necessary 2 or 3 minute breaks)
If you finish before the end of 3 hours  and we agree that the kitchen has been satisfactory organized - it’s still $75 in your pocket.
You’ll have a box to place items that are for redistribution - you’ll leave that behind.  So like storage containers that lack a lid, the hand mixer I don’t use, sippy cups missing pieces...can all move on to their next life.
I am not going to stand over your shoulder and provide any direction.  I likely will be on the phone, working on email, or just popping in and out of the apartment. But, if we agree that you can do this - I will have placed my faith in you that you know what a good kitchen is supposed to look like.
Finally - no cleaning. My kitchen is clean, not like “clean but dirty”, but like clean and unorganized.  We have a preschooler who brings home every cold, flu, bug, and whatever - so we wipe things down on a regular basis.  The dishwasher is run all the time.  The garbage and recycling don’t sit in the house.  Our composter is well fed and smells like that pretty lady in front of you at the coffeeshop.  So - keep your OCD hands off the sponge and spray bottle and get to organizing those spices.
If this sounds like something you’d want to do, or your OCD roommate is driving you bonkers...you know how to find me.  Again - I only want to take advantage of someone’s “misfortune” of OCD.  But how can getting $75 be considered a misfortune?